I’ve been telling jokes at people recently, occasionally whilst parading around in front of them with a microphone but other times one on one, and, to my amazement, I’ve discovered that they’re often not laughing right. Sometimes I’ve found that people are not laughing right so much I’m almost tempted to conclude that it’s not so much that they’re doing it wrong but that they’ve identified the moment at which they’re supposed to laugh and simply chosen not to for their own private reasons. But that would be an incorrect conclusion, not supported by the evidence. The evidence being that I’ve just told a great joke.
Therefore I’ve taken it upon myself, as something of an expert on the subject, to make a helpful ‘how to’ guide on laughing.
Some of you may initially think ‘Alex, maybe it’s the jokes you’re telling that are bad. Maybe you should spend more time working on them rather than writing a ‘how to’ guide on laughing’. To be honest that tells me more about you than it does about me ie. you’re an awful person and why don’t you mind your own business or something you prick.
The guide is as follows:
- Pick a sound – Before we even get to the laughing you need to choose a sound that you want your laugh to be like. Maybe it’s a classic ‘haha’ but equally worthy is the tense ‘Reeeeeee’ noise that pigs sometimes make. This is a particularly assertive laugh and you’ll find that many people will look at you with what, at first, may appear to be shock but later will settle into awe. Maybe there’s a famous person’s laugh which you like the sound of that you’d like to try. Once you’ve chosen your sound remember it so that you can use it in a pinch, it’s no good wasting valuable seconds of laughing just because you need a moment to remember your laugh sound.
- Open your mouth – It’s important your mouth is open as this is the fleshy cavity from which noise comes. You can try laughing with your mouth closed but it makes you look weird and everyone hate you.
- Be quick - You should laugh as soon as an opportunity for laughing presents itself. If you leave too much time then you may forget why it’s so funny or, worse, draw attention to yourself, making you look as though you don’t get the joke and are simply copying everyone else (at my gigs I like to make it very clear to the audience when they should laugh by stopping after a punchline and pointing at everyone in turn to make sure they got it. I also tend to have a countdown timer behind me til the next joke).
- Smile - Smiling is crucial during a laugh otherwise you look terrifying. If you don’t smile you also run the risk of people thinking you’re doing a fake laugh and shunning you.
- Look deep into a friend’s eyes - When laughing look deep into your friend’s (or friends’ – depending on how many are present) eyes. This allows you to share the joke together. It is a bonding experience and helps to make you better friends. If you don’t have a friend to hand just meet eyes with a stranger and continue to laugh whilst staring directly at their eyes. Do not look away.
- Hold your belly/sides - Holding your belly or sides indicates that the laugh is so good you’re concerned your vital organs may rupture or, more likely, that the vibration of your laugh will cause them to split your epidermis and spill out onto the floor. It is a very positive laugh.
I think this is about everything everyone needs to know. I hope it’s as succinct and understandable as I’m sure it must be if I’ve written it.
I will be printing out copies of these and handing them out before gigs.
