Right, Christmas is over then. For those of you concerned about my Christmas present buying fiasco. Rest assured it turned out alll right.
So, I’ve been forced to start the New Year (I’ve capitalised it here to demonstrate just how new it is ie. really new). If I could have had my way we would have had another month or so of 2011 just so I could get my brain ready for 2012.
One of the first things I’ve done, over the past couple of days, is pull a muscle in my shoulder. If you’re wondering how I did it, it was by trying to put a towel on a radiator. Previously to 2012 I’d never considered that particular activity as potentially body damaging. I don’t want to boast or anything, but I’d always imagined myself to be the sort of man who had enough strength to actually put a damp towel on a radiator to dry with minimal fuss/bother. Turns out I was painfully wrong to the tune of 100%. I’m clearly the sort of man that requires a complicated construct of in-house winching devices to help me with such crushingly manual labour.
To add insult to injury I checked the Government’s (I’ve capitalised it here to demonstrate which government it is ie. ours) website for what qualifies as an official disability and turns out my crippling ailment isn’t even on there. I can’t receive any benefits for it.
Thanks world! Great start to the year. From now on I won’t bother using towels. I’ll just run around naked until I’m dry / arrested. Whichever comes first.
